When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what is has left~ Sufi Ipigram
Teman, melihatmu senyum dengan rasa bahagia seakan aku merasakan tempias kebahagiaan itu singgah memenuhi ruang jiwaku.
Teman, kenangan bersahabat denganmu ialah zaman anak-anak yang membentuk zaman dewasa aku hari ini.
Teman, kau bukan milik semalam saat aku masih belum mengenal sepak terajang dunia, tapi kau ialah milik hari ini yang aku bertatih melawan arus yang kadang mampu merebahkan aku dalam tsunami emosi.
Izinkan aku pada warkah maya ini menitipkan rasa kasih yang mengisi ruang persahabatan kita yang tak pernah gugah.
Sepuluh jari kuhulur memohon kemaafan atas kegagalan aku memenuhi undangan darimu. Namun, namamu sentiasa meniti setiap bait doaku lewat solat saban waktu.
JARAK HANYA WAKTU, PERPISAHAN HANYA RUANG-izinkan aku meminjam kata seorang penyanyi melalui lagunya.
Kiranya telah lama kita tidak bersua mula, lantaran jarak dan kekangan waktu atas tanggungjawab yang berbeda. Kau punya seorang nakhoda yang bakal mengemudi haluan hidupmu sedang aku masih berusaha mengemudi haluan hidup sendiri atas ombak dan badai yang kadang galak menguji semangat.
Siapapun kau pilih, aku akan menghormati dia selaku pembimbing seorang teman yang sentiasa punya ruang dalam kamar hatiku.
Sekadar berkongsi untuk keharmonian PENYATUAN DUA HATI yang kau laksanakan nanti.
Rindu itu indah bila bertemu. Cinta itu indah bila bersatu.
Saat akad itu terlakasana, maka kau tertakluk di bawah pemerintahan dia. Namun, harus kau ingat teman, ungkapan aku setuju bukan bermaksud 100% kau harus taat padanya, kerana kau ialah cermin dirinya, tugasmu ialah menyokong saat dia hampir rebah atau meminjamkan bahu saat dia lelah.
Tugasmu bukanlah menyokong saat dia bersifat tirani, tapi membetulkan dia saat laluannya sedikit tersasar. Kau punya banyak pilihan teman untuk masuk pintu syurga manapun saat kau mampu membuatkan dia tersenyum saat lelah dan ketawa saat dirinya duka.
Kau ialah tangan kirinya dan kau ialah kotak rahsianya kerana setiap orang yang melihat dia akan melihat kau sebagai bayangnya.
Aku belum melalui jalan yang bakal kau tempuhi dalam masa terdekat, tapi aku pernah rasa biasan tenang atau gelojak emosinya. Teman, saat emosimu terpamer, kendurkan ia dengan rasionalmu. Jangan biarkan dia melihat raut tidak senang menghiasi parasmu kerana tugasmu ialah seperti Khadijah r.a yang mampu mendamaikan hati Penghulu Umat SAWsaat pulang menerima wahyu pertama di Gua Hira’.
Bagi seorang lelaki, syurganya ialah ibunya sedang kau teman, saat akad itu rasmi, syurgamu kuncinya ialah kesenangan dia pada setiap tindakanmu. Redhanya mampu menghantar kau ke mana-mana pintu syurga yang kau ingini.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”~ Plato
Buatmu teman, di kejauhan ini, kukirimkan rasa kasih pada angin, moga warkah ini singgah dan menghuni ruang antara banyaknya ruang di hatimu.
Salam sesetia mentari yang tetap muncul meski ayam merajuk untuk berkokok. Salam semesra kota ukhuwah yang menghubungkan hati atas nama nikmat Iman dan Islam.
“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.” – Hellen Keller
Kiranya telah lama isi di sini ialah saduran kata orang lain, bukan aku tidak mempunyai idea sendiri, namun segalanya seakan tersekat oleh keadaan. No listing ok coz No Excuse in being applied here. Ok. Wireless sekan merajuk dan aku dihantui sakit yang dull tapi berterusan. Escapism ialah tidur. Sementelah magrib dan Isya’ awal, usai saja solat, aku silence kan henset dan terus rebah ke alam mimpi.
Kadang kala aku terganggu jua oleh vibrate yang memjadikan ‘ringing ear’, tapi aku buat tak peduli je. Owh, rasa tidak enak itu berterusan untuk 2 minggu tanpa henti. Kadang-kadang ia memunculkan diri waktu pagi dan aku terpaksa memujuk diri fokus pada kerja untuk melupakan sakit. Paling-paling aku telan PCM, tapi tahan paling lama 2 jam je.
Apakan daya. Kalau dia muncul lepas Isya’, senang je penyelesaiannya. Dan formula terbaik ialah fokus dengan benda lain-escapism macam dalam cerita House. Aku dulu kalau sakit kepala yang teramat (time aku tak kenal PCM), aku ikat kepala kuat-kuat macam pendekar gitu. Kain tu aku basahkan dan aku pun basah dalam tangisan di penjuru hati.
Hm..kira dekat 4 bulan kot sakit kepala tu tak datang, kiranya ia memberikan kesempatan untuk sakit lain singgah. Nasib la, kalau double pain, alahai, macam mana aku nak handle. Aku evolve (xd kaitan dengan teoro evolusi Darwin yang menipu ye) dari PCM kepada Ponstan dan Voltaren dan sudah lama nampaknya PCM diam dalam simpananku.
Kiranya dekat 2 minggu la malamku hangus dengan tidur dan siangnya kadang-kadang aku tidur jua demi melayan kehendak mata yang mendesak. Haha..skema nya ayat.
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” - Confucious
Sebenarnya ada banyak kerja yang tak setel. Jawab aku untuk seorang kawan : kerja aku macam sungai, alirannya tak pernah berhenti. Kalau kemarau pun, masih ada anak sungai mengalir, apatah lagi musim tengkujuh. Dan aku umpamakan keadaan sekarang seperti ‘puyan boh’ di Pantai Timur, meriah tapi menyeksakan.
Dan oh, kerja kita sebagai khalifah dengan Allah tak punya waktu untuk pencen macam pencen kerja dengan kerajaan. Jadi, kalau main sukan ingatlah Allah juga. Aurat tu jaga, jangan terpekik terlolong tak tentu hala (melencongkah aku?)
Hari tu UNGS present pasal DATING & COUPLING: IS IT ACCEPTABLE IN ISLAMIC VALUE?
KESIMPULAN : pinjam ayat seorang teman : kita semua tau hukumnya haram (crystal clear, right), so kita semua, ya kita semua dalam dewan ni yang tahu, kalau buat juga, jawab sendiri di hadapan Allah kelak.
ALTERNATIVE : bertunang dulu, baru berkenalan dan boleh keluar bersama, tapi bukan berdua sebab akan ada yang ke-3 iaitu Setan. Keluar bertiga dengan mahram...k.
Islam itu lifestyle. Jadi, jangan ambil yang mana sesuai dengan nafsu (eg kahwin lebih dari satu) tapi tinggalkan yang disuruh dan melakukakan apa yang ditegah.
SOALAN: apa nasihat kepada orang yang tak pakai tudung atau tak solat dengan alasan tak dapat hidayah?
JAWAPAN : Hidayah takkan menyapa hati yang tak dibuka jendela (modified dr Faisal Tehrani) contoh : Rasul saw suruh ajar anak solat umur 6 tahun dan pukul kalau masih tak solat umur 10 tahun. Benda wajib kena paksa biarpun tak suka. Ada budak-budak solat sebab suka? Tapi disebabkan itu kewajipan, maka wajiblah dipaksa eg pakai tudung atau tutup aurat. Ok?
Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal
Dan oh, sukarnya menahan air mata ini dari luruh. Peritnya menahan segala macam rasa. Tersepit antara pilihan mereka yang dihormati, pilihan apakah yang aku ada? Ibarat ditelan mati bapak, andai diluah maka ibulah sengsara, tidak mampu aku menjadi ‘decision maker’ yang mampu memuaskan semua pihak.
Sulitnya saat terpaksa mengambil keputusan yang mengundang sinis pandangan orang, sedang itulah yang mampu kulakukan setelah menimbang pro cons dalam sudut masa yang terhad, kejamkah aku mengguris hati satu pihak itu? Maafkan diriku yang tak terdaya memenuhi permintaan keduanya.
Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving.
Tegakah aku menahan segala macam pandangan yang menikam atas keputusan itu. Telah ku hitung, ternyata itu pilihan terbaik walau terpaksa melukakan hati banyak pihak. Time will heal it, aku percaya kata-kata ini. Ambillah masa, ambillah seberapa banyak waktu untuk melumpuhkan rasa tidak puas hati, ambillah selama mana pun untuk mengubat lara itu. Aku yakin itu keputusan terbaik walau tak mampu memuaskan semua pihak dan terpaksa menahan prejudis orang, oh Tuhan!
3 consecutive weeks without end. UNGS mengisi ruang yang sempit dan aku merajinkan diri mengikhlaskan niat belajar. Tidak mudah untuk melalui sedang proposal research belum bersentuh. Dan malamku menemui mimpi yang bercelaru.
Success is sweet: the sweeter if long delayed and attained through manifold struggles and defeats.
Life is not so easy, everything doesn’t flow smoothly according to our plans, but death is a lot more difficult. We’ll be going to a weird world that we just imagine before, no experience there. But, really, that so called weird world is the world that we’ll be eternal there. The day which has no lethargic or sorrow. That day is just for happiness forever in the heaven or but still if the ‘pahala’ is not sufficient enough we’ll being suffered in the hellfire. The choice is ours, either to prepare for entering the heaven or elsewhere.
The world is juat a bridge that connect between two places-temporary worldly life or permanent life after death. As I remembered what my late father said:
1.Life is a dream, when you died, then the dream ends
2.This world is not even worth more than a ‘sayap’ of a fly (how cheap this worldly life is)
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standingin our own sunshine.
I learn so much from him that I hope my future partner will so much alike him. He make it compulsory for us to perform congregational prayer and recite verses that is very meaningful that I feel I ought to remember it by my heart also. He did tazkirah daily after subuh congregational prayer that make me go to school a bit late. He did fardhu ‘ain at home that made me and all my sibling miss fardhu ‘ain at school. I was forced to remember hadith as early as 6 years old. I still remember how hard for me to learn Arabic when I was 6 together with my older sister and brother. I cried all the way when I try to learn those Qawaid.
But, the hard things that I underwent in the past made me strong as I am today. I was Arabic teacher for my classmate during SPM and I tought them without looking at textbook coz i really memorize by heart. I tought my classmate KHB, math & also other subject during PMR and chemist during SPM. I love to reminisce my old school days very much.
Still remember during flood season ,how challenging is for me to go to school. There was a river about 10m more or less that i’d to past to go to school. During this time, i’d to ‘meniti 2 batang pinang’. The height is about 7m more or less. Still wonder how I can do that? If i were to do it today, i dont’t think i’m able to.
We didn’t have tv. My father didn’t allow due to it’s content is more harmful than benefit. Instead, he bought us radio. This is the reason why I have ample of time to read old ‘jawi’ magazine such as Pengasuh (by Tok Kenali). For sure the first part that I’ll read is short stories. Then I started to ‘selongkar’ another magazines which all are collections of my late father that make me an avid reader today.
Still remember when I hate English very much during Standard 5 that I wrote in my ‘Buku Latihan’ : aku tak suka BI besar-besar (still remember the teacher is Madam Norsyam) after I read that if we have something, just say it, of course i won’t tell that to my parents. But after that, i found out that my interest towards English was growing very much till I got A during UPSR (teacher is Madam Adibah) .
During year 4 if i’m not mistaken, for Pendidikan Islam, Ustazah Noriah (sangat garang) will come to me to find out i was reading novel during her class. Before ‘cubit’ me, i told her that i’d finished doing her work. So, no reason she got to angry with me. The reason that I did the work very fast was i want to finish up reading the novel especially after break when i borrowed books from library (the reason I was librarian during standard 2 till 6 together with Nor Eliza (where is she now?)
Some people may said : let go of the past, don’t dwell in it, but the past is important to shape me as I am today.
Resensi novel : DENYUT KASIHMEDIK
Oleh : DR FARHAN HADI
Ni komen dari aku yang tak belajar sastera secara rasmi. Sekadar penulis cilik yang masih bertatih setelah lama membeku dalam hambatan akademik.
Novel pertama dari seorang doktor yang seakan memaparkan pengalaman seorang HO (Houseman Officer) yang berpindah dari satu jabatan ke jabatan yang lain-Orthopaedik, Obstetric & Gyne, Internal Medicine etc. Plotnya berjalan lurus dan tiada imbas balik. Watak utama seorang doktor lelaki dan novel ini mengabungkan tiga fiqh-perubatan,wanita dan cinta.
Komen jujur aku:
Aku tak berapa setuju ulasan di kulit belakang oleh Fatimah Syarha. Meskipun mungkin dia tak terlibat membantu suaminya menulis, sepatutnya berilah peluang kepada orang lain mengulas kerana seorang isteri semestinya memuji hasil karya suami.
Aku puji nota kaki yang menerangkan istilah medical atau bahasa arab secara terus di setiap muka surat, bukannya menterjemah di muka akhir novel. Jadi, senang bagi laymen untuk faham medical term.
Aku tak suka kisah suami isteri berlebih-lebih mesra yang terpapar dalam novel ni. Ah, aku tak suka romen, suami isteri semua orang tau, tak perlu diwar-warkan dengan panggilan sayang, darling atau apa saja. It is understood coz it goes without saying ma. (aku skip baca bab tu, sebab bagi orang yang belum kahwin macam aku perkara itu agak mampu initiate gag reflex..aha) Aku suka cara suami isteri digambarkan dalam novel BIDADARI PADERI atau bagaimana hubungan pasangan bakal berkahwin dalam MOGA BONDA DISAYANG ALLAH
Ada sedikit persamaan antara suami isteri Dr Farhan dan Fatimah Syarha-iaitu laras bahasa yang agak kasar dalam menegur. Meski akhirnya yang ditegur berubah tingkah, namun seharusnya teguran dengan penuh hikmah dan pengajaran, bukannya dengan blaming.
Percubaan yang sangat-sangat bagus (aku tabik spring) dengan menyelitkan fakta-fakta yang relevan denagn situasi dalam setiap bab. Sungguh berjaya cara ini akui.
Ending ialah typikal happy ending. Tapi aku perasan ujian tidak cukup kuat untuk watak utama selain daripada ujian sebagai colleague kepada Neezam dan Nazir, jua ujian seorang doktor yang aku sedia maklum kehidupannya yang tidak punya waktu senggang. Dan oh, aku terfikir perubahan hidup Dr Muslih yang lebih teratur setelah diijabkabulkan.
Sarapan yang sekian lama tiada dalam jadual kembali menjadi perkara wajib kerana kewujudan permaisuri hati untuk menyediakannya. Aku membayangkan aku kalau berkahwin, apakah suami aku akan menyediakan sarapan untuk aku? Haha...imaginasi yang tiada kaitan dengan cerita. Sila abaikan.
Overal, aku puji novel ni. Satu percubaan yang bagus dari seorang doktor muda yang berusaha sedaya menegakkan Islam sebagai cara hidup atas tiket professional seorang pengamal perubatan. Dan novel ini ialah integrasi antara sastera dan medikal yang cukup berjaya, aku kira. Tahniah buat Dr Farhan Hadi
p/s : Ini pendapat aku, tak semesti betul dan mungkin silap. Tapi, aku sarankan budak medik baca buku ni..erm..agaknya bila RENTAK DENTAL bakal menembusi pasaran?
SAN JOSE - Mimpi ngeri paling panjang dalam sejarah sudah berakhir, lebih cepat daripada yang dijangka, semalam.
Kesemua 33 pelombong Chile yang terperangkap lebih dua bulan di bawah tanah selepas lombong San Jose di Chile runtuh dan menimbus laluan keluar, berjaya diselamatkan seorang demi seorang dalam satu operasi paling sempurna yang disaksikan seluruh dunia dengan penuh harapan dan kekaguman.
Pelombong terakhir dibawa keluar kurang 24 jam selepas operasi menyelamat itu bermula di mana mangsa melalui perjalanan hampir 700 meter ke muka bumi dalam kapsul khas yang dinamakan Phoenix, sempena nama burung dalam mitos Greek yang lahir semula selepas terbakar menjadi abu.
Operasi luar biasa itu tamat secara rasmi apabila anggota penyelamat pertama yang diturunkan ke tempat pelombong terperangkap itu, Manuel Gonzalez, menjadi individu terakhir dibawa naik ke muka bumi.
Pakar keselamatan lombong itu dihantar bagi membantu pelombong beberapa jam sebelum operasi bermula dan menghabiskan masa 26 minit bersendirian di dalam lombong sementara menunggu kapsul penyelamat dihantar kepadanya.
Gonzalez tiba di permukaan tepat jam 12.32 pagi semalam dan disambut dengan sorakan dan pelukan daripada rakan setugas dan Presiden Chile, Sebastian Pinera.
Usaha menyelamat dengan kos hampir AS$20 juta (RM62 juta) itu melangkaui semua jangkaan awal apabila berjaya disempurnakan dalam masa 69 hari, berbanding tempoh empat bulan yang diperuntukkan oleh anggota keselamatan semasa kumpulan pelombong itu ditemui, dua bulan lalu.
Anggota penyelamat juga menjangkakan memerlukan masa antara 36 hingga 48 jam untuk membawa naik kesemua pelombong selepas laluan keluar siap digerudi, namun masa sebenar yang diambil hanyalah 22 jam dan 37 minit.
Ribuan orang ramai di 'Kem Harapan' iaitu kawasan penempatan sementara yang dibina di lombong emas dan tembaga itu melepaskan belon dan bersorak kegembiraan selepas operasi penuh debaran itu berakhir dengan selamat.
NIQUITIN berkesan jika ditampal pada bahagian tubuh yang tiada bulu roma.
"SUSAH nak berhenti merokok. Rasa lesu dan tak bermaya. Berhenti sebulan kemudian nak merokok semula, tak tahanlah! Keluarga pula menjauhkan diri daripada saya, mungkin saya bau asap rokok dan mereka tak suka bau asap rokok pada pakaian mereka," keluh Hamzah mengenai masalah ketagih rokoknya.
Beliau sedar perbuatannya mengeluarkan asap putih yang berkepul-kepul semasa menghisap rokok boleh memudaratkan mereka yang berada di sekelilingnya. Malangnya beliau sukar berhenti merokok.
Hari ini terdapat pelbagai kaedah diperkenalkan untuk membantu seseorang menolak nikotin. Cara yang paling mudah ialah melalui sebatang rokok.
Kenaikan harga rokok sebanyak 70 sen baru-baru ini untuk setiap kotak berisi 20 batang rokok jenis premium menjadikan harga sekotak rokok kini ialah RM10. Dengan kenaikan harga itu, diharap ia dapat mengurangkan pembelian rokok.
Terapi menghisap gula-gula mentol atau mengunyah gula-gula getah antara kaedah yang paling popular untuk menghentikan tabiat merokok, tetapi ramai yang mengaku ia hanya sementara.
Bau rokok
"Paling lama saya dapat bertahan tidak merokok ialah di antara empat hingga enam minggu. Tetapi, bila saya terhidu bau rokok di tempat awam, saya dah tak boleh tahan.
"Saya hanya perlukan satu sedutan saja dan keinginan merokok saya melampaui motivasi keluarga dan rakan-rakan yang berkongsi kesan buruk tabiat merokok ini," kata Mohd. Afizi Aziz.
Beberapa syarikat farmaseutikal memperkenal kaedah yang boleh mengurangkan ketagihan perokok secara perlahan-lahan.
PROSES menyukat nikotin dalam nafas perokok yang ingin menjalani proses kaunseling. - Gambar hiasan.
Antaranya termasuklah ubat-ubatan, semburan dan tampalan. Sejenis semburan yang disembur di bawah lidah dapat menghentikan ketagihan rokok kerana asap tembakau dirasakan begitu manis bila dihidu.
Satu lagi opsyen yang diperkenal baru-baru ini ialah kaedah tampalan yang boleh mengurangkan kebergantungan perokok kepada nikotin secara berkesan.
Ketagihan terhadap rokok dikatakan dapat dilenyapkan dalam masa lima minit dengan tampalan NiQuitin.
Tampalan itu ialah produk baru keluaran Glaxo Smith Kline (GSK). Ia boleh didapati di dalam tiga pek berlainan dos iaitu 7 miligram (mg), 14 mg dan 21 mg.
Harga sekotak NiQuitin yang mengandungi tujuh keping tampalan tidak melebihi RM75.
Tampalan itu dikatakan lebih berkesan apabila ia ditampal di bahagian badan yang kurang atau tidak berbulu roma.
"Ia perlu ditampal di bahagian badan yang berbeza-beza termasuk bahagian belakang dan atas punggung supaya sel-sel kulit boleh tumbuh semula dan rasa tidak selesa atau gatal pada kulit dapat dielakkan," kata Pengetua Akademi Farmasi Malaysia, Prof Madya Dr. Mohamad Haniki Nik Mohamad.
Haniki yang juga setiausaha Kumpulan Kerjasama dan Bersekutu Profesional Kesihatan Malaysia untuk Memberhentikan Tembakau (IMPACT) menjelaskan : "Setiap sesi rawatan hanya mengambil masa tiga bulan. Seseorang itu tidak boleh menggunakan tampalan seperti ini melampaui tempoh masa enam bulan.
"Tampalan yang digunakan di dalam tiga peringkat itu mengambil masa 12 minggu untuk selesai dan melihat hasilnya." Tampalan NiQuitin digunakan dalam tiga peringkat. Untuk enam minggu pertama, tampalan yang digunakan ialah bagi dos 21mg. Kemudian diikuti dengan tampalan berdos 14mg untuk dua minggu. Tampalan NiQuitin 7mg pula ialah untuk dua minggu yang terakhir.
KETAGIHAN merokok boleh diatasi dengan pelbagai kaedah pada hari ini.
Tampalan itu digunakan selama 24 jam.
Satu lagi cara ialah di dalam bentuk gula-gula lozenges. Gula-gula itu boleh didapati dalam pek dua dan empat miligram pada harga RM52.80 sen dan RM69.60 sen untuk satu kotak berisi 48 biji.
Lozenges tidak berperisa dan tidak mengandungi gula, maka ia tidak mendatangkan kesan sampingan dan sesuai untuk pesakit diabetes.
Bagaimanapun, lozenges mengandungi dos nikotin yang memberikan kepuasan kepada perokok yang cuba menolak tabiat merokok tetapi gagal.
Perokok yang tinggi kadar hisapan rokoknya, perlu mengambil sebiji gula-gula 4mg setiap satu hingga dua jam sekali untuk 6 minggu, kemudian setiap dua hingga empat jam sekali untuk tiga minggu selanjutnya.
Tampalan NiQuitin memerlukan kos RM750 untuk memulihkan tabiat merokok. Kos lozenges di antara RM634 sehingga RM835 untuk rawatan di antara 10 hingga 12 minggu. - Bernama
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up!
I asked Allah to make my handicapped child whole
He said : No
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary
I asked Allah to grant me patience
He said : No
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations
It isn’t granted, it’s learned
I asked Allah to give me happiness
He said : No
I give you blessings, happiness is up to you
I asked Allah to spare me pain
He said : No
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and
Brings you closer to Me
I asked Allah to make my spirit grows
He said : No
You must grow on your own
but
I will prune you to make it fruitful
I asked Allah for all things that i might enjoy life
He said : No
I give you life
So
That you may enjoy all things
I asked Allah to help me LOVE others,
As much as He loves me.
He said: Ahhh..finally you have the idea
The best thing to give
to your enemy is forgiveness;
to an opponent, tolerance;
to a friend, your heart;
to your child, a good example;
to a father, deference;
to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you;
to yourself, respect;
to all men, charity.
There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. -Dr. Denis Waitley
Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but calmness within the storm.
Optimism means expecting the best, but confidence means knowing how to handle the worst.
Never make a move if you are merely optimistic.It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
At first, dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable. --Christopher Reeve",
You don't pay the price for success. You enjoy the price for success. - Zig Ziglar
A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties. -
Many people (in the West), who have been hugely influenced by negative media stereotypes of Muslims, believe that Muslims are not humorous people. Contrary to this belief, Muslims actually enjoy a laugh!!
Although after saying this, Muslims do abide by some basic rules on making jokes (such as humour being within the limits of Islamic tolerance, and not going beyond the bounds of truth.)
Below are a nice collection of Islamic ancedotes and humorous stories. If you know of any humorous jokes or ancedotes, then please do send them in to me!
Most of the stories below are of a well-known and much-loved folk hero throughout the Muslim world - Mullah Nasruddin. Sometimes he seems foolish, but really he is wise. Stories like this one are told from China to Africa, and beyond.
Nasruddin Goes Fishing
One day, Mullah Nasruddin decided to go fishing. He called upon his good friend Rabbi Moishe, got their poles and bait together, rented a small rowboat at the local harbor, and off to sea they went.
After an amazing afternoon of fishing, the two men had caught thirty fish. An elated Mullah Nasruddin said to Rabbi Moishel, "Better mark this spot so we can come here tomorrow!"
The next day Mullah Nasruddin met up with Rabbi Moishe at the rental harbor for another day of fishing.
"Did you mark the spot?" Mullah Nasruddin asked Rabbi Moishe confidentially.
"Of couse," replied Rabbi Moishe, "I painted a big white X on the bottom of the rowboat."
"You fool!" Shouted Mullah Nasruddin and slapped his forehead, "What if we can't rent that same boat today?!?!?"
Nasruddin And The Judge
One day, Joe Christian passed by a restaurant. He was tired and hungry, for he had had nothing to eat all day. His nostrils caught the smell of the delicious food being cooked inside. He stopped and sniffed, smiled sadly, and began to walk away. But he did not get far. The owner of the restaurant, Rabbi Moishe, came storming out into the street. "Come here!" he bellowed. "I saw that! You took the smell of my food, and you'll have to pay for it!"
Joe Christian did not know what to do. "I cannot pay!" he stammered. "I have no money!"
"No money!" shouted Rabbi Moishe. "We'll see about that! You're coming with me to the judge!" Naturally, Joe Christian was frightened.
"Hmm," said the judge, when he had heard the story. "Well, this is an unusual case. Let me think. Come back tomorrow, and I'll pronounce the sentence."
What could Joe Christian do? He knew whatever sum the judge demanded, payment would be impossible. All night long he tossed and turned, unable to sleep for worry.
When dawn came he made his way to the judges court. As he passed by a mosque he spotted a familiar figure - Mullah Nasruddin. Suddenly, his heart lifted. For he knew that Mullah Nasruddin was a clever man, who was sure to be able to think of a way around the problem. He poured out his story, and Mullah Nasruddin agreed to come to the court and speak for him.
Rabbi Moishe was already at the court, chatting with the judge. Joe Christian saw that they were friends, and feared the judgment would go against him. He was right. The judge began heaping insults upon Joe Christian as soon as he saw him, and ordered him to pay a very large sum of money. At once, Mullah Nasruddin stepped forward. "My lord," he said to the judge. "This man is a good friend of mines. Allow me to pay in his place."
Then Mullah Nasruddin took a small bag of coins from his belt and held it next to Rabbi Moishe's ear. He shook the bag, so that the coins jingled. "Can you hear that?" asked Mullah Nasruddin.
"Of course," replied Rabbi Moishe, impatiently.
"Well, that is your payment," said Mullah Nasruddin. "My friend here, has smelled your food, and you have heard his money. The debt is paid."
And, in the face of such argument, the case was settled and the Joe Christian went free.
Nasruddin's Friendly Neighbour
One day, for one some reason or another, Mullah Nasruddin goes around to Rabbi Moishe's house and asks if he can borrow a pot for a day or two. His neighbour knowing Mullah Nasruddin is reluctant, but eventually agrees as they've been close friends for many years.
The very next day, Mullah Nasruddin returns two pots and explains to the over-delighted Rabbi Moishe that the first pot gave birth to the second pot.
A week later, Mullah Nasruddin asks Rabbi Moishe if he can borrow two pots. Rabbi Moishe immediately agrees - for the obvious reason.
But to Rabbi Moishe's dismay, Mullah Nasruddin never returns the pots, so he asks Mullah Nasruddin if he can have his pots back, but the Mullah Nasruddin explains that tragically both pots have died.
Rabbi Moishe is incensed. "How can a pot die?" he demands.
"You believed it when a pot gave birth," said Mullah Nasruddin. "Why should you not believe that a pot dies?"
Nasruddin's Clever Wife
Mullah Nasruddin was standing outside the mosque after prayer. He had told his wife to meet him outside of the door, but after fifteen minutes she had not shown. He saw his friend Jafar coming out of the door.
"salam alaikum, brother," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I wonder, did you happen to see my wife inside the mosque?
"I'm sorry, I didn't, but I'm sure she'll be right out." Jafar replied, and walked upon his way.
Mullah Nasruddin waited for fifteen minutes, but his wife did not show. He then saw his friend Nabil walk out of the door.
"Salam alaikum, brother," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I wonder, did you happen to see my wife inside the mosque?
"I'm sorry, I didn't, but I'm sure she'll be right out." Nabil replied, and walked upon his way.
Mullah Nasruddin waited for fifteen more minutes, but his wife did not show. He then saw the Imam coming out the door. The Imam locked the mosque door behind him.
"Salam Alaikum Sheikh," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I am looking for my wife. Do you by chance, know where she went?"
"I'm sorry, no one is left in the Mosque," replied the Imam, "All have gone for the night." and he walked upon his way.
Full of anger, Mullah Nasruddin walked home alone. When he got there, his wife was standing outside the door.
Nasruddin and His Donkey
Rabbi Moishe, in need of a donkey, went around to Mullah Nasruddin's farm to ask him if he could borrow his donkey for a day or two.
Mullah Nasruddin came up with the excuse that someone had already borrowed his donkey.
Just as Mullah Nasruddin uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard. Hearing the sound, Rabbi Moishe gave him an accusing look, to which Mullah Nasruddin replied: "I refuse to have any further dealings with you since you take a donkey's word over mine."
Nasruddin's Car Drive
Mullah Nasruddin and his wife are in their car driving.
Suddenly his wife screams, "STOP THE CAR!!!"
"What is it?" Mullah Nasruddin asks.
"Turn around and go back home!! I forgot to turn off the oven!! The house will burn down!!!"
Mullah Nasruddin kept on driving.
"Why aren't you turning around?"
"The house won't burn down..." Mullah Nasruddin replied. "...I forgot to turn off the shower."
Nasruddin's Vision
Mullah Nasruddin and Rabbi Moishe were traveling through the desert. It was so hot that the air was shimmering. In the distance they saw something black on the ground. Rabbi Moishe said, "It's a vulture." Mullah Nasruddin said, "No, it's a goat." They drew closer, still arguing over what it was. Rabbi Moishe threw a rock at it. It flapped its wings and lifted into the air. "See!" said Rabbi Moishe. "I told you it was a vulture."
"That doesn't prove anything," Mullah Nasruddin. "It could be a goat with wings."
The Train Journey
Rabbi Moishe, Mullah Nasruddin and a Nun were sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Jerusalem.
Suddenly the train went through a tunnel. As it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.
When the train came out of the tunnel, the Nun and Rabbi Moishe were sitting as if nothing had happened, and Mullah Nasruddin had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there.
Mullah Nasruddin was thinking: 'Rabbi Moishe, must have kissed the Nun and she missed him and slapped me instead.'
The Nun was thinking: 'Mullah Nasruddin must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed Rabbi Moishe and got a slap for it.
Rabbi Moishe was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise and slap Mullah Nasruddin again.
A lesson taught
Nasruddin went to a public bath. The servant didn?t pay any attention and didn?t serve him when Nasruddin was leaving the bath, he gave ten Dinars to the servants.The attendants were surprised and happy. Next week when he again went to the bath all the services were provided to him. Every one was having a sense of inferiority. But Nasruddin on leaving the place gave only one Dinar to them. The servants and the owner were very much bewildered and asked, "What is the reason for the uncalled bonus of last week and improper behavior this week?" Nasruddin replied, "I paid today?s wage last week and last week?s wage today so that you learn to behave politely with your customers!"
Rescuing the moon
Nasruddin was looking at the image of the moon in a well. He thought it was a recompense to take out the moon from the well. Therefore, he threw a rope inside the well and swung it a few times. Incidentally, the tip of the rope got caught to a big stone. He tried to take the rope out. Hence he pulled it with a lot of force. The rope tore off and he fell on his hack to the ground. When he looked at the sky, he saw the moon and said, "Doesn?t matter. My efforts were not wasted. Though I faced a lot of difficulties, I finally succeeded to rescue the moon."
Lack of Time
Once a person slapped Nasruddin in the street. Later he came back and started to apologize and said that he had mistaken Nasruddin for some one else. But Nasruddin was not satisfied and took tight hold of his collar, took him to the judge and told the judge about the incident. The judge ordered, "Nasruddin must slap that person to avenge. But Nasruddin didn?t get satisfied. Thus the judge ordered the person to give Nasruddin a gold coin in lieu of the slap. The accused had to go out of the court to bring the gold coin. Nasruddin waited for sometime. The accused didn?t come back. Nasruddin stood up and slapped the judge on his face and said, "Since I have a lot of work, whenever that person Comes and brings the coin, You take the money for this slap."
Mullah Nasrudin and the The Burglar
A thief went to Nasrudin's house and carried away almost all the possessions of the mullah to his own home. While Nasrudin had been watching from the street. After a few minutes Nasrudin took up a blanket, followed him, went in to his house, lay down and pretended to go to sleep. The thief asked Mullah, "who are you? And what are you doing in my house?" Mullah replied, "we were moving into your house, weren't we?"
Real Evidence
A neighbour called on Nasrudin. "Mulla, I want to borrow your donkey." "I am sorry," said the Mullah, "but I have already lent it out." As soon as he had spoken, the donkey brayed. The sound came from Nasruding?s stable. "But Mulla, I can hear the donkey, in here!" As he shut the door in the man?s face, Nasrudin said, with dignity: "A man who believes the word of a donkey in preference to my word does not deserve to be lent anything."
A Dinner of Smells
Once, long ago, a very fine and expensive restaurant stood on a busy street in a bustling market town. One day, a poor man passed by this restaurant. He was tired and hungry, for he had had nothing to eat all day. His nostrils caught the smell of the delicious food being cooked inside. He stopped and sniffed, smiled sadly, and began to walk away.
But he did not get far. The owner of the restaurant came storming out into the street.
"Come here!" he bellowed. "I saw that! You took the smell of my food, and you'll have to pay for it!"
The poor man did not know what to do.
"I cannot pay!" he stammered. "I have no money!" "No money!" shouted the restaurant owner. "We'll see about that! You're coming with me to the Qadi!
A Qadi is a judge in a Muslim court. Naturally, he is very powerful, and the poor man was frightened.
"Hmm," said the Qadi, when he had heard the story. "Well, this is an unusual case. Let me think. Come back tomorrow, and I'll pronounce the sentence."
What could the poor man do? He knew whatever sum the Qadi demanded, payment would be impossible.
All night long he tossed and turned, unable to sleep for worry. When dawn came he said his prayers and, tired and dejected, made his way to the Qadi's court.
As he passed the masjid he spotted a familiar figure -- Nasrudin the Hoja. Suddenly, his heart lifted. For he knew that Nasrudin was a clever man, who was sure to be able to think of a way around the problem. He poured out his story, and Nasrudin agreed to come to the court and speak for him. The rich restaurant owner was already at the court, chatting with the Qadi. The poor man saw that they were friends, and feared the judgment would go against him.
He was right. The Qadi began heaping insults upon the poor man as soon as he saw him, and ordered him to pay a very large sum of money.
At once, Nasrudin stepped forward. "My lord," he said to the Qadi. "This man is my brother. Allow me to pay in his place."
Then the mullah took a small bag of coins from his belt an held it next to the rich man's ear. He shook the bag, so that the coins jingled.
"Can you hear that?" asked Nasrudin.
"Of course," the man replied, impatiently.
"Well, that is your payment," said the mullah. "My brother has smelled your food, and you have heard his money. The debt is paid."
And, in the face of such argument, the case was settled and the poor man went free.
The rickshaw ride
Once a missonary on his way to run some errand hired a rickshaw. The rickshaw-puller happened to be a muslim. The christian preacher began to preach the Gospel to the R.P. The rickshaw puller got annoyed and asked the preacher "How many sons did God have?" The missionary answered "One". At this the rickshaw puller got more annoyed and said "I am a thirty year old poor rickshaw puller, I have twelve children. If your God is really as great as you claim him to be, then how come he has only one son?"
If Allah Wills
Nasruddin was determined to be decisive and efficient. one day he told his wife he would plow his largest field on the far side of the river and be back for a big dinner. She urged him to say, "If Allah is willing."
He told her whether Allah was willing or not, that was his plan. The frightened wife looked up to Allah and asked forgiveness.
Nasruddin loaded his wooden plow, hitched up the oxen to the wagon, climbed on his donkey, and set off.
But within the short span of a day the river flooded from a cloudburst and washed his donkey downstream, and one of the oxen broke a leg in the mud, leaving Nasruddin to hitch himself in its place to plow the field.
Having finished only half the field, at the sunset he set out for home exhausted and soaking wet. The river was still high so he had to wait until long past dark to cross over.
After midnight a very wet but much wiser Nasruddin knocked at his door. Who is there Asked his wife.
I think it is me, Nasruddin, he replied, if Allah is willing!
